Saturday, January 23, 2010

Co-Dependency to College Admissions!

I was going to write a lovely piece about The Artist's Way this rainy Saturday morning. But instead I have new inspiration.

I starting writing this BLOG at the end of summer 2009. Overwhelming feelings about the kids growing up and their impending departure from my home seized me. I knew it was time to get a life and also knew, in a way that only a mother knows, that the next few years would be trying times between my 16-year-old and myself.

This morning was one of those times.

Anyone reading these posts know that Kyle is obsessed with getting into a 'good' college. He has become an intellectual snob. Kyle also is just an ordinary kid. He works incredibly hard but he also enjoys his free time. A nice balance, in my opinion.

This afternoon he has a tutor coming to help him study for the math section of the SAT test coming up this March. He has homework for this session. He also has a huge pre-calculous assignment, an AP environmental studies project, and a history test. Already I know too much.
My parents never knew what tests or projects I had. Kyle just wanted to sort out his studying schedule out loud. I was his sounding board. My stomach turned.

He jumped on my bed at 10:30AM and declared that studying for the math portion of the SAT was a waste of time. I translated this in my brain. "I really don't want to do the math prep for the SAT because I have so much other homework and I want to hang with my girlfriend."

I stared at my husband who was trying to be practical and actually ended up being incredibly unhelpful. He didn't get what was going on at all.

Kyle wanted permission not to study for the exam. FINE with me I told him. I mentioned many great Universities he could go to without studying for the exam. I explained that he would get a great education and going to these schools wouldn't adversely effect his life in any way. I named these schools--good schools, fun schools, schools I would love to attend.

He stared at me. He knew that I was on to him.

Now he is in his room studying for the stupid SAT.

But, I realize that I am a co-dependent in his search for the 'perfect' college. So the little prince can get done everything he wants and still see his girlfriend I have offered to pick her up at Berkeley and drive her back home. This will save him two hours of driving. Time he can be studying.

It takes away two hours of my afternoon, but I want him to be happy and have everything he wants and needs so I'm willing to help him out. I think I am being a good parent but I'm really just a co-dependent college snob! I need a twelve step program. First I must admit my addiction to helping my son fulfill his dream to go to a 'good' University.

The first day of the rest of my life took a step back today. I was going to write all day. But instead, I will become carpool Mom--a job I never really liked.

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