Tuesday, August 31, 2010

New Beginnings!

Tuesday my boys started school. It was Will's first day of High School. I sat at home struggling to get ready to leave the very next day.

Yes, you heard me. I had to leave for NYC the next day. Now, in past years I would never of dreamt of leaving them right when school started. I would have been too afraid that they might need me. But this year a situation presented itself, and I took advantage of it. Not only did I leave, but Tom came with me.

This is only the second time since we had the boys that we left together.

Of course, I appreciated Kyle's call on Tuesday afternoon to meet at the local ice cream store for our annual tradition--first day of school means ice cream for everyone.

Then, the next morning I said goodbye to them and got on an airplane and left.

Now, don't go picturing this scene as all grown-up and pretty. As Tom and I sat on the bus to the airport I suggested we turn around and return home. At the airport, before my flight, I broke down in tears.

Now, in fairness this was not just because I was leaving my kids. I had a big work related thing going on in NYC and it wasn't turning out as I had hoped. I had a tantrum. I've decided I'm quite good at tantrums.

I was there to introduce my father's films at the Film Forum and as it were a new book written by him "From the Grave!" Now, don't go saying that your Dad can't write a book "From the Grave!" If anybody could, he would and it seems he did. And he sent it to his fans, wrapped in butcher paper and tied with old twine. It is copyrighted William Castle 2010... and it smelled exactly like the cigars he smoked.

But this story is not the intent of this blog post. This blog post is intended to scream to the world that I really didn't miss my kids at all. I mean, by Sunday I couldn't wait to get back home to them. But, I loved being with Tom. He spoiled me. I spoiled him and we were in the city were we first met and fell in love.

It was wonderful.

I haven't worked so hard in a long time. But, it was great.

We had dinner after 10PM and climbed back to bed after 2AM every morning. We were young again for a few days. But quite honestly that's about as much as this old body could take.

I haven't left the house since I returned Sunday. Everything hurts.

But I learned something. I had a life before kids and I will have a life after they go off to college. That's good.

Here's the bad part. I don't have the courage to call my friends who are dropping their eldest kids off to school this year. I can't imagine what they are going through. I don't want to go there yet.

My turn will come soon enough.

For now, my kids are happy at school and we all watched ENTOURAGE together last night. I will try and control my urge to do the countdown. I will not start marking off, this is the last time...

But I must squeeze just one more in there...this is the last time I will write about Kyle's first day of his senior year at high school.

I should probably warn you right now not to read next year's post. But there are a lot of days between now and then. And I'm sure too many topics to cover.

Hopefully I will be all grown-up by then.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I'm Back!

I can't believe it has been a year since I started writing this blog. I began last year, the first day of school for my rising Junior. Today he is a senior and what a ride it has been.

My youngest son started high school as well.

Kyle drove Will home from school and called from the ice cream store. "Mom, it's the first day of school. Come meet us. It's tradition."

I raced out the door to meet my boys.

I haven't blogged in quite a while. I have had too much to say. It will have to come out in small pieces.

The summer has been a whirl wind of ups and downs. I feel like I have been on an constantly moving teeter tooter. Highs are good, the lows sad.

And then so many of my friends are packing their kids up for college and I barely have the heart to call them. I feel the pain of childbirth with each breath I take.

Slow down. Oh please slow down. Breathe deeply.

For anyone in the New York area I will be at the Film Forum for a retrospective of my father's films. It would be so great to meet all of you I know so well but have yet to meet.


I promise to start writing again. I miss you all so much. I have felt an emptiness in my sole (funny how I wrote sole/soul) since I left you this summer.

Slowly, the stories will enfold. Difficult ones, funny ones, ones I have yet to process. I can't wait to hear all about you.

For now know, I have a boy who has one more year at home with me. Make sure I cherish the time we have together.

And check out a weird occurrence. My father is back "From the Grave!" and blogging...


I know he would love to hear from you too.

Kisses from a mother on the verge of great expectations!