Tuesday, August 31, 2010

New Beginnings!

Tuesday my boys started school. It was Will's first day of High School. I sat at home struggling to get ready to leave the very next day.

Yes, you heard me. I had to leave for NYC the next day. Now, in past years I would never of dreamt of leaving them right when school started. I would have been too afraid that they might need me. But this year a situation presented itself, and I took advantage of it. Not only did I leave, but Tom came with me.

This is only the second time since we had the boys that we left together.

Of course, I appreciated Kyle's call on Tuesday afternoon to meet at the local ice cream store for our annual tradition--first day of school means ice cream for everyone.

Then, the next morning I said goodbye to them and got on an airplane and left.

Now, don't go picturing this scene as all grown-up and pretty. As Tom and I sat on the bus to the airport I suggested we turn around and return home. At the airport, before my flight, I broke down in tears.

Now, in fairness this was not just because I was leaving my kids. I had a big work related thing going on in NYC and it wasn't turning out as I had hoped. I had a tantrum. I've decided I'm quite good at tantrums.

I was there to introduce my father's films at the Film Forum and as it were a new book written by him "From the Grave!" Now, don't go saying that your Dad can't write a book "From the Grave!" If anybody could, he would and it seems he did. And he sent it to his fans, wrapped in butcher paper and tied with old twine. It is copyrighted William Castle 2010... and it smelled exactly like the cigars he smoked.

But this story is not the intent of this blog post. This blog post is intended to scream to the world that I really didn't miss my kids at all. I mean, by Sunday I couldn't wait to get back home to them. But, I loved being with Tom. He spoiled me. I spoiled him and we were in the city were we first met and fell in love.

It was wonderful.

I haven't worked so hard in a long time. But, it was great.

We had dinner after 10PM and climbed back to bed after 2AM every morning. We were young again for a few days. But quite honestly that's about as much as this old body could take.

I haven't left the house since I returned Sunday. Everything hurts.

But I learned something. I had a life before kids and I will have a life after they go off to college. That's good.

Here's the bad part. I don't have the courage to call my friends who are dropping their eldest kids off to school this year. I can't imagine what they are going through. I don't want to go there yet.

My turn will come soon enough.

For now, my kids are happy at school and we all watched ENTOURAGE together last night. I will try and control my urge to do the countdown. I will not start marking off, this is the last time...

But I must squeeze just one more in there...this is the last time I will write about Kyle's first day of his senior year at high school.

I should probably warn you right now not to read next year's post. But there are a lot of days between now and then. And I'm sure too many topics to cover.

Hopefully I will be all grown-up by then.


  1. Terry: Glad you are writing again. It's so wonderful that Tom and you had a chance to get away. It's fun to relive those nostalgic moments.

  2. I'm so glad you realized that you will have a life with Tom after the boys leave for college. Now if only I could learn that!

  3. I'm so glad you realized that you will be ok!

  4. Terry, I'm so happy to see you on here and, especially, sounding so good! If you look back, this blog has tracked quite a journey for you, and look how you're starting to see that there will be a life for you as the mother of - gulp - grown ups! I'm so happy to see that your dad is being so productive "beyond the grave!"

  5. Yes, so good to "hear" from you!! I loved this post. It means growth and hope that there is life after your boys go off to college. I've been having my own adjustment issues...seeing a fellow volleyball player at the gas station who my daughter used to play ball with, going to a taco shop and seeing baseball players from the high school the girls USED to go to...But life is good because my girls are healthy and finding their own way, and I, too, can imagine a life of writing and living without them every day...sort of...

  6. SO glad you had fun just south of me! The City is always a fun place and I'm glad you got to rediscover each other there. It's good to hear 'happy' in your voice.

    Time to take in all the fun this school year will bring!


  7. I always cry when I get on a plane to go far away from my kids. Bawl. Snot and everything. My husband just holds my hand and shares knowing looks with the flight attendants. But I'm glad you didn't miss them (too much). Baby steps! =>

  8. My situation is different now, so I can understand those feelings you've described here.

  9. I understand your feelings because I am also very worried and nervous during separation from my close people.

  10. I truly understand your feelings. But nevertheless, I am sure that your turn will come soon enough. Be stronger, and everything will be all right!