Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Screwing Up Your Kids and Getting a Chuckle out of it!

May 24th was the Great Festival of the Gypsies that takes place every year on the same day in Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer, France.

Saint Sarah is the patron Saint of the Gypsies and on this day, Gypsies from all across Europe come to honor her.

It is customary to leave a note at her pagan altar--your wish, your hope, your prayer.

Since I couldn't go to this lively event I decided to light a candle to Saint Sarah and leave a prayer by the flaming light. Why I wanted to honor Saint Sarah must remain a mystery right now. But I wanted to and so I did.

The candle glowed brightly in the cut crystal glass.

First Tom walked through the door. Quickly I explained that I hadn't lit the candle to commemorate anyone's birth or death. "And nobody died," I told him.

Kyle walked in next. Again I was quick to alert him, "Don't worry, nobody died."

Will was the last to enter. He looked at me with his big green eyes (well one's green and the other's brown). "Nobody died, sweetheart. I'm just leaving a note of intention for Saint Sarah."

"But you're Jewish," he reminded me.

Than I had a funny thought.

I tend to light candles for all those people I have loved and lost, on special days like birthdays or anniversaries and, of course, the day they died. And when someone I know dies, I light a candle for them.

That's not the funny thought.

What got me chuckling is the image of one of my son's walking into a lover's home, the lovely young lass having filled the house with beautiful scented candles, looking forward to a night of love bathed in the soft glow of endless candlelight.

And then my kid's reaction--blood draining from his face, "Who died?" he'd ask his lover.

And she would know then that I had screwed-up my kids for sure.


  1. Ha! So funny. I'm sure she will love him enough to understand that it's not a total loss to have to say, "no one died" when there are candles lit. Maybe I should have lit one for the bird.

  2. My mother always said "I'm just setting you up for therapy when you're older." ... so ... just think of it as keeping future therapists employed!

    I love messing with my kids! It's fun to watch their minds go nuts.

  3. That is hysterical. She'll learn to say, "nookie tonight hon, not death."
    Hey, it could be worse, right??

  4. This is so great. I laughed out loud at the thought. And here's to Saint Sarah -- I hope she is alive and well, my friend -- and also hoping that we see her soon. :)

  5. but my mind seeks to ask the mysterious.....why did you want to honor St.Sarah on this day???

  6. That's not screwing them up, it's just, you know, making them unique. Hardly anybody else will have that particular reaction to candles. They'll be in a class by themselves! :)

  7. I like to say that I had to become a therapist because it was the only way I could afford the amount of therapy that I need.

    Maybe if you REALLY manage to screw up your kid he'll associate candles with death AND find them erotic.

  8. I'm sick like that, too.

    BUt that's ok, b/c my kids are pretty funny b/c of it.

    Great story!!

  9. I love that, Terry. It reminds me of the flower thing when you're Jewish too. Like how you never order flowers for a Jewish funeral or there are rocks on the grave but not flowers.

    I have a friend who once bought me a candle snuffer for my shabbat candles...

  10. Too funny! I hope they don't have the same reaction to birthday candles?! ;-)

  11. I find it funny that you felt the need to explain to everyone as they walked in the door that "nobody died." Maybe you should continue lighting candles for happy reasons to keep the menfolk on their toes.