Sunday, July 18, 2010

Musings From A Woman on the Edge!

I forced myself to go kayaking today. I didn't really want to go. I wanted to hide under my covers and protect myself from the world. One of those days.

Kyle is off in the city with a friend, exploring the Mission area of San Francisco. Last summer I took him around this area and watched as he became enthralled in an area he hadn't yet explored. I made him promise me this morning that he would go with WIll and I again, later in the week.

Will is off on his little sunfish with a friend, breeze in his hair, salt water on his skin.

I watched him hang on to the boat, as he keeled on one side. He was hanging on for dear life.

And just like a mother, I turned to far to make sure he was OK and found myself emerged in the lagoon, clothes, sunglasses, hat and all.

I didn't mind. It's the getting back into the boat that's not such a pretty sight.

I felt a bit better after my small adventure but wonder when this wave of menopausal mood fluctuations will lift. Each and every month. Each and ever month. And it still catches me by surprise.

There is so much to do right now, and I don't want to waste a single moment. Please don't let me waste another moment.

And then there's this:

For any of my Bay area friends, I will be speaking at the Castro Theater on July 30th before they play my father's film, "Rosemary's Baby." Come and be scared. Not at the film, at how inarticulate I am in front of a crowd.

You all know I fear the devil. And here I am, once again, face to face with a film that changed my families life.

I had trouble getting out of bed today, how am I going to get up in front of a crowd and talk about the film?


  1. Terry, you'll do great! I'm sure you can "channel" your dad for long enough to give the movie a fitting tribute. What would the audience most love to hear? What would your dad most want to have you say? How can you splice in some humor about being the daughter of this incredibly feared director?

    Also, there's got to be some great humor there about being the "baby" of William Castle and connecting that to Rosemary's Baby, right?

  2. Good suggestions by Linda! I can't think of anything better to say! Except that I know you'll do fine. You'll do your dad proud. It's a great way to honor him and have others remember him. Think of it as a way of keeping his memory alive.
    Sorry about the spill in the lake. If it helps at all, I found myself in an inner tube, floating down a river in VT yesterday, butt dragging the rocks in the shallow parts, and wondering why the 'thinner' people didn't seem to be dragging the rocks. :)
    Have a great time. At your talk and with your boys. Even as they come and go, they'll always be your little boys.


  3. you'll do it...just pretend you're talking to us,your readers. look out and see all your bloggy buddies.

    P.S. please come over and vote for my post, I'm a finalist in the NOT mom of the year contest!

  4. You can do it Terry. My advice for speeches like this, just practice it several times before the actual day. Good Luck!

  5. Get those two public speaking sons to help you! I am sure you'll be great, and a good, scary time will be had by all. . .!

  6. Taking Hubby up to Sonoma for a lil birthday getaway on the 30th. I'm sure you are going to do great. My oldest is a senior(ish) at SFSU and lives near the mission. He loves it. I'll have to check it out one of these days. Oh... and some days I don't want to get out of bed either!

  7. Oh dear, Terry, I can totally relate to not wanting to get out of bed. As for the public presentation. you'll be just fine. Think about your father and let him flow through you.

    Sending happy thoughts your way!

  8. Just think about your sweet boys giving their graduation speeches and know that they got the strength to do that from YOU. You can do it!

  9. The audience is naked. For the most part, we all wear underwear and put one foot at at a time into said underwear. In all seriousness, I think that most of us want each other to succeed. So all those in the audience want to hear what you have to say. Trust that. Trust yourself. Good luck!