tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post6460490256868192845..comments2023-05-27T07:08:35.763-07:00Comments on First Day of the Rest of My Life: Life is About Living Now!Terry Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06629565101353628945noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-82480161201775003032010-05-16T23:31:55.090-07:002010-05-16T23:31:55.090-07:00Yours is my first "memory" post. The ba...Yours is my first "memory" post. The bar has been set high. Lovely, just lovely. And I don't usually ask people to visit my blog in their comments but I think my "memory" post might touch you and I would love to know your thoughts on the questions it poses.a li'l bit squishyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10552498869881201504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-63618482065784795802010-05-15T18:08:09.296-07:002010-05-15T18:08:09.296-07:00I often think that I wish I would have had my blog...I often think that I wish I would have had my blog when my kids were babies...but I'm really glad I have it now. I wrote things down, but not the way I do now. I'm so sorry for your loss...of your father and of the mother that you knew. I do know she senses you. That bond is too strong not to.Tiffanyhttp://www.elastamom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-15482609192362192142010-05-15T15:17:06.128-07:002010-05-15T15:17:06.128-07:00Life does hold many painful memories, but don'...Life does hold many painful memories, but don't forget the good. Try to hold on to them as long as you can. Many of us with younger kids are lucky. We can document every memory and share it with the world with a click of our mouse. I have a family website that we post all of our holidays, birthdays, snapshots of life. They will be stored forever along with stories to go with them. We are very lucky in this and should take full advantage. Today's memories are tomorrow's family histories. Write them down! Document them! Leave your footprint!WitchyDarlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07129385724240952510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-90282383285154376812010-05-15T10:33:46.773-07:002010-05-15T10:33:46.773-07:00A beautiful post. And I feel you.
I, too, am past...A beautiful post. And I feel you.<br /><br />I, too, am past the memories of little children. In the late teen years - a set of challenges that are very different as you know.<br /><br />The early years are already a blur, with certain moments clear, and others, thankfully, captured in pictures or in writing set to paper at the time. Moments I've gathered together for this memory-assignment purpose. <br /><br />Losing memories - or simply having them blurred - is a real fear. Especially when you live it in your parents, your grandparents. The pain of no recognition. I remember that in each of my grandmothers in their last years. As though you have been erased. So we must remain the vessels of whatever recollections we can hold. Mark makers through our words, our images, our stories.BigLittleWolfhttp://dailyplateofcrazy.com/2010/05/15/ten-spotty-years-of-selective-recollection/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-84032789164959133842010-05-15T07:25:28.768-07:002010-05-15T07:25:28.768-07:00Oh, Terry, my friend...I need to wipe the tears aw...Oh, Terry, my friend...I need to wipe the tears away as I write this. Know that you are not alone in any of this. Know that your kids may not remember any of these moments either, but they KNOW they are loved. Know that the great thing about the past is it can be changed by living in the NOW. Live presently. I'm saying this as much for you as for me. Take care.Michelle Zivenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-87538620745217668142010-05-15T01:37:13.070-07:002010-05-15T01:37:13.070-07:00Terry, I once had a writing professor who told us ...Terry, I once had a writing professor who told us that the more we wrote and exercised that muscle (see Motherese today!) the more we would actually remember. I do find that when I'm writing and really working hard at recreating my life, the memories do come back.<br /><br />And your mother's condition now strikes close to home, since my mom just got the same diagnosis. She's fine now but now there are a lot of I don't knows. <br /><br />Thanks for a thought-provoking post.Linda Pressmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01809808676659629555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-65656401261168028362010-05-14T20:56:06.574-07:002010-05-14T20:56:06.574-07:00Poignant and beautifully written.
My grandmothe...Poignant and beautifully written. <br /><br />My grandmother has on-set Dementia (from her Parkinsons) and it scares me in many ways. I knew her when she could remember things but many of my siblings didn't. It's kind of hard to watch, really.amber_mtmchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17871256362646081536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-31189375567442392232010-05-14T20:45:12.832-07:002010-05-14T20:45:12.832-07:00Well Terry. This was a tough one. At first I was...Well Terry. This was a tough one. At first I was all smiles, remembering Kyles's amazing speech, probably the best I've heard in my career. Then, reading on, I began to do exactly what I didn't want, make it about me. Just too darned painful. I guess that's what good writers do, make the readers think, relate, reflect, smile, laugh, cry. I just don't want to go to that memory deficit place. TeresaTeresa and Garyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16675630183833566777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-5656586194182994002010-05-14T20:12:16.674-07:002010-05-14T20:12:16.674-07:00That we relive experiences through memories is a b...That we relive experiences through memories is a blessing and a curse. It seems cruel that we are more inclined to recall the negative experiences, vividly.<br /><br />This is a touching post and a hard topic. Memory is so complex. I will be thinking of your mother. My grandfather had Alzheimer's and my grandma, dementia.Sarahhttp://sarahcasm.canoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-31655759070157331302010-05-14T17:45:29.804-07:002010-05-14T17:45:29.804-07:00So sorry for both of all your losses. I know it is...So sorry for both of all your losses. I know it is painful to experience these things, but I know it has given you perspective. You embrace the living while remembering those that are no longer. This was a honest and raw post and I thank you for it.Rudrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02892114592005195420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-65091851291902365462010-05-14T12:40:53.595-07:002010-05-14T12:40:53.595-07:00And now I'm crying again. Terry, this is beau...And now I'm crying again. Terry, this is beautiful (as are your boys), even if it paints the picture of pain you have experienced. Thank you for your courage in sharing it with us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-76880959352453238222010-05-14T11:51:44.927-07:002010-05-14T11:51:44.927-07:00I got choked up.
I'm with you.
You're n...I got choked up. <br /><br />I'm with you.<br /><br />You're not alone.<br /><br />Sometimes I worry that I won't remember what I need to. Then I read some words of fabulous children's author Elizabeth Winthrop: The memories are all there. Sometimes they are hiding, waiting for the right moment to make their appearance. They show up when we need them. Memories are a part of us. We lived through them.<br /><br />Those are not her exact words, but that was my take-away.<br /><br />So glad to have found you. My daughter has 4 more days in her junior year. Then she's a senior. Life with one headed out the door...<br /><br />I lost my mother years before she died. That my children never knew her is sad for me. Your post helped me.rebeccahttp://altaredspaces.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-27825995571217571082010-05-14T10:32:48.212-07:002010-05-14T10:32:48.212-07:00true ending. we don't have good memories unles...true ending. we don't have good memories unless we are really living.michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02711137394143200105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-39759970169872968302010-05-14T07:39:00.852-07:002010-05-14T07:39:00.852-07:00Oh, I love this post too. You said it all so perfe...Oh, I love this post too. You said it all so perfectly (and poignantly). I was thinking the same thing just this morning. Although my son is still little, I am startled at how little I really do remember...how more vivid those memories of my teen years were, say, or my life in my 20s. The memories I really want to remember in technicolor are those from motherhood and already they're sketchy or just downright gone, if I didn't write them down. Of course, it is age, isn't it? Physically speaking, we're just not retaining the memories in the same way our young brains did. And yes, it's ironic that we can remember the bad so easily. But maybe those memories serve a purpose too - to teach us or remind us of something. <br /><br />Thank you for stopping by last night and for your lovely comment! Your blog has become a new favorite of mine. :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-69467006463316196682010-05-14T07:25:22.939-07:002010-05-14T07:25:22.939-07:00I too struggled with this topic, Memory. I thought...I too struggled with this topic, Memory. I thought, hey I have so many - how hard could it be to just write about one. But every one of them that I could recount and put into words were painful - ones I want to keep hidden. At least for now.<br /><br />You're right in wondering, "Why are the painful ones so vivid? It doesn’t seem fair. I can remember them in detail. Paint pictures, summon up feelings, re-create scenes."<br /><br />I wonder why myself. Is it because we have not come to terms with them?Justinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16968048136720936198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-48304195935467473322010-05-14T07:08:38.141-07:002010-05-14T07:08:38.141-07:00Ugh, this is gut wrenching. Sometimes when I look ...Ugh, this is gut wrenching. Sometimes when I look back to when the kids were little, all I remember is being overwrought, overwhelmed, so sad and angry in an awful marriage. Thank goodness for pictures and video. These photos you've posted are beautiful. Alzheimer's is so cruel, to steal memories when it's time to enjoy them. but you're right; life isn't about memories. It's about living. And you're doing that every day, despite the very sad memories you hold. I really admire your strength Terry!Maureen@IslandRoarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17183530593417498063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-49580214306349791132010-05-14T03:41:09.731-07:002010-05-14T03:41:09.731-07:00Terry, I'm so sorry for the pain, and the fact...Terry, I'm so sorry for the pain, and the fact that your memory tends to cling to the hard moments, not the sweet.<br /><br />I was going through my first-born's baby book the other day, and I'd taken the time to write little anecdotes, things she did or said, and I'd totally forgotten about them. Of course, second-born's book has no such items, and I felt like a horrible mother.<br /><br />I think if your mother senses you, she must know that you are there. I'm sure she can smell you, feel your touch. ((hugs))TKWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16409505008377005185noreply@blogger.com