tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post5431914462951122500..comments2023-05-27T07:08:35.763-07:00Comments on First Day of the Rest of My Life: Terry Castlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06629565101353628945noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-53011293796329044332010-03-05T17:14:52.770-08:002010-03-05T17:14:52.770-08:00Hi Terry - Kristen from Motherese directed me to y...Hi Terry - Kristen from Motherese directed me to your blog. I have two teenage boys as well. My eldest is 16 and a junior in HS and my youngest is 13 and in the 8th grade.<br /><br />I'm amazed by the pressure that the kids are under today. The SATs for example, I didn't study for them and was satisfied with slightly above average score. My eldest has taken SATs and ACTs already. He wants to take the SATs over again to see if he can get a better score. He had his list of colleges selected in the 9th grade. He's taking classes now that I took in college. Luckily, we live in an excellent school district and the boys have always gone to public school. He WANTS to do everything but my hubby and I tell him to slow down and have fun. Truly I think it's society that pushes the kids.Erica@PLRHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06708056443533231432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-12804670906308397232010-03-03T20:12:02.124-08:002010-03-03T20:12:02.124-08:00Terry I never ever saw you as one of the moms that...Terry I never ever saw you as one of the moms that was racing toward the "road to nowhere." You always have those boys' best interests at heart, and you are an amazing mom. I hope I can only be as strong and wonderful of a mom to my boys as you are to your boys. Give them both a hug, especially Will. You are one of the "normal" parents. Seriously. xoxoCarin Rhodeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04739406573622976617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-47772103979913207672010-03-03T10:45:44.178-08:002010-03-03T10:45:44.178-08:00Thank so much for your insights. I love hearing f...Thank so much for your insights. I love hearing from a recent grad. What I have learned from all this is different strokes for different folks. But you have to know your child and figure our what's important to them.Terryhttp://happilyeverafterbirth.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-33579362842899312482010-03-03T10:03:43.375-08:002010-03-03T10:03:43.375-08:00As a recent high school graduate, I can offer the ...As a recent high school graduate, I can offer the perspective of someone who went through this same thing not too long ago. I always took on as many activities as possible, and although often I "bit off more than I could chew," I thrived off the busyness. It taught me how to manage my time and stay organized. My younger sister is the opposite of me. She is more introverted, and is a very independent learner. She knows how to say no to people and to know how much she can take on, and she values her "down time". I respect her enormously for this, because she is an amazingly intelligent and insightful young person. <br /><br />My point is that different styles work better for different people. I attend a relatively big-name university, and I know my involvement in different areas helped me get here. But I'm not worried about my sister. College counselors and admissions officers always say that they are looking for quality over quantity. A frantic plethora of things to put on a resume is not what they want from applicants, at least in my experience. If students have one or two activities or interests that they are good at, passionate about, and committed to, not only will this show through in college essays and interviews, they will be content people.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-60850409868875919012010-03-03T08:27:05.340-08:002010-03-03T08:27:05.340-08:00Here's the opposite view point, just to help y...Here's the opposite view point, just to help you see both sides. Our biggest priority in raising kids was that I be home with them. It meant we lived very tightly, money wise. (Archaeology does not pay well) My kids had lots of 'free' opportunities - hiking with daddy, exploring state parks, finding our own family adventures - but very few paid-for opportunities. Two of them have played soccer for one year each. But unless the school offered it as a club, my kids didn't get to do it.<br />I feel like we've raised four pretty relaxed kids, stress wise. Each does as well in school as their personality dictates. Some we have to monitor/push more than others. <br />But I have my own regrets and wishes. I truly think several of my boys would have done great in music lessons. My oldest son, who runs a mean cross country track time in school sports, has always been a natural in sports and may have done really well in baseball and such. We'll never know.<br />But then again, we didn't spend lots of afternoons driving to practices and games. I rarely shuffled younger siblings to games. <br />As a mom, I'll always wonder...which would have been a better choice for my kids? <br />They are four pretty great people (most of the time) so I'll just have to be content watching where they go from here. <br />Does this make you feel better? (I hope so!)<br /><br />judy<br />justonefoot.blogspot.comJust One Foothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14963890364029323014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-35771273910860679132010-03-03T08:08:39.569-08:002010-03-03T08:08:39.569-08:00I subscribe to the theory that busy kids have less...I subscribe to the theory that busy kids have less time to get into trouble. While I wouldn't say I overbook my kids, I do let them sign up for and try whatever they want, and I do insist that the follow through on commitments.<br /><br />Even here in Po-Dunk-Nowhere (OK, I grew up in SF ... I think the whole state of OR qualifies) I occasionally hear from other parents how I'm doig my kids a dis-service by putting them in Public Schools or not getting them private music lessons at a young age or ... the list goes on.<br /><br />I do my best to ignore them. I'm happy with how my kids are turning out. My kids are happy. That's what matters.Doughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16826898319801651745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-9590513940357543902010-03-02T17:44:36.540-08:002010-03-02T17:44:36.540-08:00LINDA: GREAT RULE OF THUMB. NORMAL PARENT EQUALS ...LINDA: GREAT RULE OF THUMB. NORMAL PARENT EQUALS NORMAL KIDS!Terry Castlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06629565101353628945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-80524431320267196022010-03-02T17:37:10.208-08:002010-03-02T17:37:10.208-08:00My wish is that I had thought more about school di...My wish is that I had thought more about school districts when I bought my house 17 years ago - before I had kids! Since my son's at a private Jewish day school and there's no high school connected to it, all the kids are moving on, so they've all had to check out various options, but probably no more than 2-3 each. We looked at 2. <br /><br />At certain schools we've been affiliated with, there have always been the really ambitious parents. That's never been my thing. Finding the place where my son is happy has happened here and there. Turns out that when I find the most normal parents I invariably find the most normal kids.Linda Pressmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01809808676659629555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-9310232820652163642010-03-02T12:43:02.710-08:002010-03-02T12:43:02.710-08:00Part of the reason we moved to the Vineyard 9 year...Part of the reason we moved to the Vineyard 9 years ago was to take a step back, live a slower life and have fewer choices. With my kids I've always stressed that doing well can lead to more choices for college, and that proved to be correct with my older daughter. My son didn't try too hard and we pay the price in loans. You have to do what you think is best for your boys, and it sounds like you are. I find it admirable; many people don't even think about it.Maureen@IslandRoarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17183530593417498063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-91654291057403680292010-03-02T11:39:51.549-08:002010-03-02T11:39:51.549-08:00Kristen: Thank your lucky stars. I am convinced t...Kristen: Thank your lucky stars. I am convinced that too much opportunity isn't necessarily a good thing. The other thing you will hopefully avoid are the other 'mommy' voices creating fear and havoc in your lives.Terry Castlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06629565101353628945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7727877663333685119.post-15369529467363413062010-03-02T11:24:05.244-08:002010-03-02T11:24:05.244-08:00I am still in the early days of this race to nowhe...I am still in the early days of this race to nowhere and I think I am at least a little bit lucky to live in a relatively rural place where my boys will have fewer choices due only to our isolated location (no private schools, fewer activities, no competition to get into the right preschool). <br /><br />Usually I complain about the lack of opportunity here, but your post made me reframe that thought in a positive way: maybe there is such a thing as too much opportunity?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com